White Swan
by Nyomixx
Summary: On Hiatus! After an accident at sea, Bella is saved by U.S Coast Guard officer, Edward, who jumps onboard her sailing boat, White Swan. Too bad Bella's father is using her yacht for illegal purposes, and Edward is required to turn them in. Cont O/S OOC/AH
1. Chapter 1: Rescue

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of _**White Swan.**_

_No copyright infringement intended._

**To my fab pre-readers and betas: Belindella, Colette, Silvia & Lezlee. Thank you!**

This story was originally written as a one-shot for the 'Gotta Love a Man in Uniform' contest—hosted by _Twific Hall of Fame_—where it won Second Place and Judges Choice Award. 

It was rather long for a o/s, so I've trimmed and chopped it up to form the first three chapters of the story, with the aim of extending the story into a novella (around 10 chapters long).

**Summary:**

**Bella and Edward are the perfect couple. Shame her father is using her yacht for illegal purposes, and Edward's a coast guard officer who is supposed to turn them in.**

**AH/AU/OOC/MA**

**Romance/crime**

**Rating is for sex scenes, violence, illegal activity & explicit language.**

* * *

**White Swan**

**Chapter 1: Rescue**

Alone, alone, all all alone,

Alone on a wide wide sea!

And never a saint took pity on

My soul in agony.

– Samuel Taylor Coleridge; _The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner_

**-xxx-**

"Bella?"

Hmmm?

"Bella… Wake up."

Though I was asleep, I registered the man's voice was nothing like Dad's smoker's raucous. This voice was smooth like midnight velvet and washed over me in a calm tide.

A hand shook my shoulder, and I stirred, feeling the stiffness in my aching muscles. The vibration and rumble of the sailing boat's engine indicated we were still motoring. However, because the boat was gently rocking through the water, I assumed we were cruising in the calmer waters inside of Washington's Cape Flattery.

"We're almost there," the man said.

My eyes blinked opened, only to look straight into deep pools of liquid green.

_Cullen._

I had read the name "Cullen" on his bright orange, Coast Guard life vest after him and another officer, who had the name McCarty on his life vest, leaped aboard my sail boat to help air lift Dad to hospital this afternoon.

Dad and I had left Hoquiam harbor just after sunrise, and we'd been enjoying the beautiful summer day, chatting about exploring the inlets and islands around Seattle and the San Juan Islands over the next few months. But our cheerful mood had turned dire when a steep swell pitched the boat sideways, catching Dad off guard. He'd been standing at the wheel but had lost his footing with the sudden movement, unable to stop his leg crashing against the rear winch block. I'd been powerless to help him as I'd had to hold onto the seat I was on to stop myself from falling. Seconds later, he'd released a blood-curdling scream of agony, making me freeze as he voiced the utter savagery of pain he was in.

I'd rushed to his side and helped maneuver him into the sunken seating area of the cockpit, wrapping him in blankets to stave the shock. I'd cursed, knowing that I was hours – days – away from a hospital. And even then, I had no idea where one was.

"I've got to call for help, Dad. I've got to get help." I pushed myself up but he gripped my arm, his face pinched in pain.

"No! I'm fine. Now sail us in, Bella."

"I _can't_."

"You _can._" He'd gritted his teeth, groaning as the boat jolted from a wave hitting us side on. "I'm fine."

"Don't be so _stubborn_, Dad! You can't put up with the pain for hours. You'll go into shock."

And so, ignoring his pleas, I'd gripped the VHF radio handset between my shaking hands and issued an emergency Pan-pan call. I'd been overwhelmed with relief when my call was answered by the Port Angeles Coast Guard. I'd stated Dad's injuries, and our location, and they told me to hang in there until they arrived.

I'd remembered Dad's instructions from over the years and knew that Pan-pan calls were for emergency help that would still allow me to stay on board, unlike a Mayday call that would mean _I_ was in life threatening danger also and we'd have to abandon our boat.

Even though the six to eight foot swells had become more unpredictable and steeper because we'd been rounding Cape Flattery, I'd sailed through _a lot_ worse and didn't feel that I was in any immediate danger that would require me to abandon our home.

Thankfully, the Coast Guard motor boat and helicopter had arrived soon after. That short amount of time had felt like a lifetime of waiting and reassuring Dad that help was coming while I'd continued to sail us around the headland.

When the Coast Guard had arrived, the strong gusts that the chopper created, together with the thirty knot winds filling our sails, had caused our boat to pitch and roll too much for the chopper to safely lower the rescue basket for Dad.

I knew we were getting knocked around so much because our sails were still up, and I wished I could have lowered them myself, but there was no way I could keep the nose of the boat pointing into the wind while I let go of the steering wheel to pull the sails down. Our autopilot had been acting up for the past week, and of course, Dad was in way too much pain to help me at all.

With my stomach in my throat, I'd watched Cullen and McCarty risk their lives and leap from the huge Coast Guard boat onto our 39 foot vessel. The large swells had been okay to sail in, but damnit if they weren't scary as hell when you were watching someone jump from boat to boat when there moving. As soon as they'd scrambled aboard, they'd used hand signals to tell me to steer my boat into the wind so that they could lower the mail and front jib sail for me.

What seemed like seconds later, Dad was inside the helicopter and as soon as I knew he was out of harm's way, I'd burst into tears, overwhelmed by the physical and emotional ordeal. Knowing that Cullen and McCarty were going to stay and help me get my boat to port, my inner fortress of strength had crumbled to rumble and all the adrenaline that had been coursing through my veins disappeared, leaving me fatigued and emotional. The last thing I remembered after that was being held in Cullen's arms as I sobbed into his chest while McCarty steered us into the Strait of Juan de Fuca.

As Cullen hovered over me after waking me from my deep slumber, I stared into his eyes and noticed how attractive he was. Gorgeous was probably a better word to describe him. He had the most striking face I'd ever seen. Being this close to him, I could really see the depth of his tropical sea green eyes that were fringed with thick black lashes. His other features were angular and… _Mmmmm. _His square jaw and lips were… He flashed me a lopsided smirk when he caught me checking him out.

"Welcome back." He sat back on the parallel built-in bench of the cockpit. My two rescuers had removed their life vests, and they were both wearing the same navy blue Coast Guard uniform.

"Thanks."

Cullen's uniform had his name in bold white lettering on his right breast pocket, and "U.S Coast Guard" on the other. The top button at his neck was undone so I could see the dark blue T-shirt he was wearing underneath. It was a pretty simple, masculine uniform, but he wore it with an air of authority that made me feel safe with him.

Blinking my puffy, heavy lids while I lay on the other hard, cockpit bench, I felt overheated and looked down at myself. I was bundled with blankets.

Cullen motioned his hand towards me. "You sort of collapsed with exhaustion, so I wrapped you up to keep you warm."

"Oh." I untangled myself from the blankets I'd used on Dad. I sat up and took off my life preserver. Leaving it beside me, I adjusted my pastel pink hoodie and ran a hand over my face and hair. When the summer afternoon breeze blew across the flushed skin of my face, I closed my eyes and breathed in the cool, salty air.

Cullen was watching me.

For some reason, the fact that this handsome man was observing me made my insides tickle.

I stretched my back—popping my chest his way—and felt more alert after what could have only been a couple of hours sleep at the most.

"Hey," I croaked with a nod to McCarty. My voice was still hoarse from trying to shout above the strong winds earlier. He was in the same position I had seen him in last – standing with his long legs apart and his hands on the wheel. He looked relaxed behind the helm.

"Hey, Bella." He gave me a warm smile. "My name's Emmett. It's good to see you're okay. That was one hell of a job you did out there by yourself. Very impressive."

His smile turned into a deep-dimpled grin, and I gave him a fleeting smile in return.

"Thanks. But you guys deserve the praise, not me." They dismissed my esteem with a shake of their heads. I blinked at their modesty after having witnessed their heroic efforts. "Ummm, what's the time? Where are we?" The sun sparkled on the surface of the dark water, and I squinted as I looked around. My earlier assumption was right. We were motoring through a calm harbor which was busy with a lot of smaller crafts coming and going.

"Neah Bay," Emmett said.

I knew from the navigation charts Dad and I had studied, that Neah Bay was just inside the headland and that Dad had decided against stopping here as it didn't offer much as a touristy site.

"It's just after seven o'clock now," Emmett said. "There's only a small marina here, but they've vacated a mooring site for you. It's powered so you won't need to run your generator for electricity."

"Have you heard any news on my dad?" I asked them both, clearing my scratched up throat and tried to ignore the rough feeling. "Is he okay?"

Cullen nodded. "The chopper took him to the hospital, and after he had x-rays, they, ah, they put him under general anesthetic and reset the bone. They were able to get most of the bone fragments out which was good. Apparently the doc said he'll be up for visitors tomorrow and that he's gonna be fine. Your father should be able to come home in a couple of days."

Trusting that Dad's fighting spirit was still going strong, I relaxed, then noticed how my mouth felt as dry as a sandy beach.

I stood and ran a hand over my hair and down my long braid. "Do you guys want something to drink?"

They both nodded. "Water would be great," Emmett suggested with another friendly smile. Cullen said he'd have the same.

"Okay. I'll be back." Stepping down the ladder, my eyes fell on the navigation table to my left, and I recalled the fear, the anxiety, and the heart crushing sense of worry I had felt as I issued the Pan-pan call for help. Had that _really _only been a few hours ago?

I ducked into the tiny bathroom. After relieving myself, I stared at my face in the mirror, horrified that Cullen had seen me earlier with blotchy skin and red, puffy eyes. I figured that if Cullen wanted to check me out, I may as well give him something to look at. After brushing my teeth and splashing my face with cold water, I undid my braid, shaking my hair out using my fingers. I fluffed and combed my fingers through my hair until it fell in waves down my back and chest. Braids were the best thing, I found, for keeping my hair out of my face while we were sailing, but now that there was a handsome man onboard… I applied a few strokes of mascara to enhance my eyes and a little clear lip gloss to my dry lips. If he didn't like it, at least my lips would benefit from the moisture.

Feeling more confident about my appearance, I carried three glasses of water to the cabin stairs and expressed my gratitude when Cullen leaned inside the entry hatch and grabbed two of the cups from me making it easier to walk up the ladder with just my own.

Sitting back on the cockpit bench opposite Cullen, I smiled. "So what's your first name, Cullen?" I let my eyes drift over his tall, toned body. His reddish-brown hair wasn't as short as Emmett's, so it had enough length to make it appear windswept and chaotic. I liked it.

Before answering my question, his eyes travelled down my long, brown hair only to linger for a moment on my chest. My insides erupted with flutters under his examining gaze, and I was praising myself for improving my looks.

"My name's Edward. Sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier." He leaned forward across the cockpit to shake my hand, but he was interrupted by Emmett.

"I'm sorry to tell you, but the marina was only able to make room for you because of the emergency situation, so you have to move on tomorrow. You can anchor out here in the bay until they have room, but I thought you'd want to move closer to your father since he's in Seattle. Do you know anyone that can help you sail there?"

Answering him, I shook my head no. I didn't know anyone around here since our home port was in Los Angeles, close to where my mom was living. For a second, I thought about calling her, but then I decided against it as she'd only want to come up and stay with me. I knew how sea sick she got, even when we were moored at the marina. I was better off on my own. I was eighteen and more than capable of taking care of myself.

"My dad planned on us making it to Port Angeles marina tonight."

But how could I sail there by myself?I had no autopilot to help me. Having no autopilot meant that every time I would leave the helm the boat would divert by itself, meaning I was practically tied to the damn helm.

_White Swan_ was a decent 39 foot sailboat, and even though Dad and I found her easy enough to handle together, and I could look after her during my shift at the helm while Dad slept, I had never felt comfortable taking her out by myself for a long period.

After a moment, Edward cleared his throat and looked at me. "Emmett and I talked about this while you were sleeping and… I'll help you sail to Port Angeles, if you want."

My eyes widened in surprise_. _

Was he serious? That'd be expression showed how sincere his offer was, as his steady gaze held mine.

Edward "I could sleep on deck if you don't…" he trailed off and ran his hand through his hair. "But I'll help you sail down to Port Angeles tomorrow. If you want, I could even help you get to Seattle. It'd be hard for you to do it alone."

Containing my enthusiasm, I managed to keep my calm and gave him a heartfelt smile. My stomach filled with nervous anticipation as I realized I'd be spending so much more time alone with him. "That sounds good. Thanks."

His face was controlled into an almost blank mask, but the corners of his mouth twitched with a smile. "My pleasure."

"I'd offer to help, too," Emmett said, his tone apologetic. "But one of us needs to debrief the team, and my wife might get the wrong idea, so…"

I chuckled. "Yeah?" He nodded, but I understood. I'd just assumed them to both be single. Of course they'd be taken. They were gorgeous. Edward probably had a blonde bombshell waiting for him at home. Wanting to know if he had someone who might get jealous if he stayed with me, I turned and my stomach erupted in tingles when I caught him studying me. Granted we were in close quarters and sitting only a few feet from each other, but it seemed that he was _always_ looking at me.

I didn't mind one bit.

"Oh don't worry about Eddie boy," Emmett assured me, chuckling with a deep throaty laugh. "Although he's as free as a jaybird, Edward will be a _perfect_ gentleman."

Well that answered my question.

"Shut up, you dickhead." Edward looked embarrassed. His response only encouraged Emmett to laugh harder.

I chuckled at their bantering, smirking as Edward met my gaze. My heart rate increased, and I felt both nervous and excited that Edward was single.

Oh, the possibilities!

With the marina quickly approaching, Edward insisted that they had everything under control and for me to stay seated in the cockpit while they brought the boat in. I should have been offended, or insisted on helping, but I trusted that they knew what they were doing and so took the opportunity to watch him instead. I couldn't help but be impressed by how decisive and authoritative Edward was when he was focused on the job at hand. It was a massive turn on, watching him bend over to pick up the ropes as his pants pulled tight against his firm ass, hinting at the perfection beneath.

Feeling flushed, I gulped the rest of my water.

The Coast Guard lifeboat had gone ahead of us, waiting at the vacant marina site were three men in the same dark blue uniforms, ready and waiting to catch the ropes that Edward was preparing to throw. The few closest boats that were already moored at the marina appeared to be day-tripping fishing boats, not live-aboard vessels like mine. Within minutes, we were stationary and tied off securely to the marina. The moment Emmett turned off the noisy engine I could hear the sea-gulls and the gentle pinging of the ropes hitting against the numerous aluminum masts as the gentle wind moved through the many sailing boats at the marina.

I kissed Emmett on the cheek and gave him a quick hug. "Thanks so much for helping. You're one hell of a brave man."

Looking embarrassed, he patted me on the head and gave me another dimpled grin. "You're welcome, girly."

He was adorable.

What was it about these men feeling awkward when receiving praise? I looked over and saw Edward watching me with his lips pressed together in a pathetic attempt to hide his amusement.

After repeating my thanks, until I made the _whole_ crew embarrassed, they all made their departure, boarding their Coast Guard boat and heading back to Port Angeles Harbor. Soon it was just Edward and me remaining. On my boat. Alone.

Very alone.

What now?

Looking over at him, he was standing on the foredeck, looking incredibly delicious in his uniform.

Hmmmm. I could think of a few things we could do.

"You hungry?" I asked after a moment of awkward silence, stepping into the cockpit and waiting for his answer.

He smirked. "Starving. I'll just connect your power first, so that–"

"Oh. Yeah, thanks." I assumed I already had power. That was usually Dad's job. Poor Dad…

I walked down the ladder and into the cabin, washing my hands in the small galley sink before lifting the lid on the fridge and pulling out two bottles of beer.

After Edward plugged in the boat's extension cord to the power unit on the marina, he came inside and washed his hands in the galley sink, too.

I handed him one. "Beer?"

"Please."

I could see he was tired so told him to relax in the salon. He collapsed in the 'U' shaped dining booth and lounge area and twisted the top off his beer. I remained leaning against the galley counter, watching him.

Even though I was only eighteen, Dad let me have a beer with him now and then, and right now, there was nothing I wanted more after my shitty day. Thankfully, Edward didn't question me on whether I was old enough to drink when I used the hem of my hoodie to twist the cap off my beer.

"To the sea," he said, raising his bottle to me. "May she _always _keep us afloat and be kind to the boat."

I chuckled at his corny toast and stepped towards him. "To the sea," I repeated, leaning over the table and clunking the neck of my bottle with his. He nodded, satisfied, and we both took a pull at the same time, our eyes locked together. The beer tasted good, but I was sure it was that much sweeter because I had someone to share the moment with.

Clearing my throat, I went about preparing us a simple dinner of sausages and French toast in the galley.

I flipped the bread in the shallow bowl of egg batter. "You know…" My back was to him, but I could feel his eyes on me. "If you don't want to sleep on deck, there's a spare cabin in here." I laid the bread into the ready pan and looked over my shoulder at him while it sizzled in the heat.

"Only if you're sure…" he checked, being polite, but I could see he was relieved with the promise of a comfortable mattress.

There were three double sized bed cabins all together. Two cabins, side by side, in the stern of the boat, while Dad slept in the large forward cabin in the bow. With _White Swan_ being 39 feet long, Dad and I had plenty of room to move, and we even had our own bathrooms. It was precious privacy that I was so grateful for.

"Of course I'm sure," I sang, turning my attention back to the sausages that were letting off a delicious, barbeque aroma. "Like I'm gonna let you sleep on the cold, hard deck after all you've done… after all you're _doing _for me."

His lips lifted into a cute smirk. "Thanks."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Hey! Thanks for reading :)**

**Feel free to check out my other story; **_**Bella? Marie?**_


	2. Chapter 2: Sunset

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of _**White Swan.**_

_No copyright infringement intended._

**To my fab pre-readers and betas: Belindella, Colette, Silvia & Lezlee. Thank you!**

**-xxx-**

**NOTE:**

*****To those who have read the previous O/S:*****

Since the story was so long, I've trimmed it _a lot_, and chopped the original o/s to form the first three chapters of this story. There is added information at the beginning to do with Charlie, but my aim is to extend the story into a novella, around 10 chapters long.

Thank you for staying with me!

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO: SUNSET**

While Edward watched me cook from his seat in the dinette, I peppered him with questions.

He was twenty-five years old, had a few months left of his mandatory active field work with the Coast Guard, and said he loved his career.

He grinned. "I love rescuing people. Ever since I was a kid, I'd always wanted to be in this branch of the military. I've practically grown up on the water. I used to go sailing with my dad when I was young, and ever since then… I just love being on the water. And helping my country at the same time's a bonus, you know?"

"Yeah, it is."

His passion for the sea rivalled my own, even if the ocean did bite us in the ass every now and then – like today.

He leaned forward with his forearms on the table as he held his beer with both hands. "So what about you?"

I turned the sausages. "Well, I've lived on board _White Swan_ for just over three years. And now the salt is in my veins, I don't think I could ever move away from the sea. Not far anyway. I just love the smell of it,"—I took a deep breath to emphasises—"and I love traveling, so it's perfect."

"You got a boyfriend floating around somewhere?" I turned tohim, but he kept his eyes on the bottle between his hands.

"Uh… Not at the moment. I left my last boyfriend in Hawaii."

Glancing up, he held my gaze for a moment. "How long ago was that?"

"Ah… About six months ago." His interest in the topic tickled me pink.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice slightly deeper.

"I left him." Placing the toast and sausages on plates, I grabbed us two more beers and some cutlery.

"Why?"

"Because…" I placed his dinner plate, beer and cutlery in front of him. "He asked too many questions."

I winked at him, and collected my plate before sitting next to him at the curved booth.

He chuckled. "Sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

"Is that why you were asking questions?" I smirked, cutting the end off my sausage. "I must have confused curiosity with prying."

He licked his lips that had bent into that cute smirk again, before working a huge piece of French toast into his mouth. "I guess I'm just trying to figure you out," he said with his mouth full.

His disregard for table manners made me smile. I was glad he felt relaxed around me.

"Yeah, well. I'm still trying to work myself out." I stabbed the whole sausage and brought it to my mouth before taking a large bite. As I sunk my teeth into it again, I felt Edward's eyes on me. When I looked over, he flung his gaze to his plate, his brows knitted together.

He devoured his food in record time.

I quirked my brow. "Do you want some more?" I wasn't even half way through mine.

He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and nodded. "Ah, if you've got some more… Thanks."

After he'd gulped down his second helping, I suggested we sit outside in the cockpit for a while. There was nothing as relaxing as watching the sun set over water, and I grabbed the opportunity to see it at every chance I got.

I told him to grab us two more beers while I put my iPod into the docking station, on random repeat. Since we didn't have any live-aboard neighbors next to us, I turned it up, letting the pop, rock and indie music waft out of the boat and swirl around us. Once outside, Edward cleared some space by throwing the blankets inside.

"Wow. It's lovely here," I said, gazing out over the little marina to the snow capped mountain in the distance. "So peaceful." The rhythmic pinging of the ropes and metal wires hitting the masts as they moved could be heard over the music down below.

The night air tasted cool and salty, and the atmosphere was so serene as we sat outside in the sunken cockpit, with me on one bench and Edward on the other. Whenever a dinghy motored by, waves would lap at the hull and rock the boat, make it jerk against the ropes that held us to the marina.

We ended up talking for a while about music and what movies we liked and hated. As the evening continued, I brought out a bottle of Pepsi and some chips to share. I was amazed at how relaxed we'd both become, slipping innuendoes in with our words and bantering with each other.

The setting sun glimmered through the masts of the sailing boats, letting the air temperature drop too. With the orange rays on our faces, we gazed across the water, sitting in silence as we watched the sun disappear. But the thing that made it more special, more beautiful, to me was having the company of such a nice guy.

Wanting to break the stillness that had fallen on us, I swallowed before speaking. "So," I said, looking at his chiseled side profile and wondering if he thought me as attractive and interesting as I thought he was. "Why did you do it? Jump, I mean. You could have fallen into the water. Or what if the swells had caused both our boats to crash and squish you?"

His ears tinged red, but he puffed out his chest. "That's the fun part. The risk. The danger. We try and keep it all to a minimum, but the adrenaline rush you get from rescuing someone… it's almost as good as sex."

I raised my eyebrows and smirked. "_Almost_?"

"Uh-huh." He looked at me with such mischievousness, heat flooded south of my belly button. "Where was the wildest place you've ever had sex?"

Loving where the conversation was going, I blinked, thinking for a moment. There had been a few places but… "Umm…"

"For me…" he said, unable to wait for my answer. "It was on a roof in New York City. We were overlooked from other buildings so we got quite a few cat-calls and whistles." He chuckled. "The excitement of getting caught…" He looked at me in anticipation. "Have you felt that? That sort of adrenaline rush?"

I nodded, gnawing on my lip.

Staring into his expectant sea green eyes, I felt drawn to him like no one else I'd ever met. Was it because I thought he was so unashamedly masculine, raw and powerful in his sexuality, or was it that he looked so damn sexy in his uniform? I'd always had a thing for men in uniform.

Whatever the reason for me liking him, hearing about his past sexual encounters stirred something unpleasant within me. I wouldn't say I was jealous, but I was curious as to what sex with him would be like.

"Well…?" He nudged my arm with his elbow. I wanted him to do it again, just to create the same humming sensation that was so much stronger when he touched me.

I felt like I could tell him anything and everything.

"I had sex on a train once."

His brows rose. "Was the train empty?"

"Nope. It was about half full."

"What? Did you get caught? Where were you?"

He wanted more details? Okay.

I shrugged. "We were at the back of the carriage. So no one thought anything of me sitting in his lap, under a blanket." I didn't tell him that it only took a few minutes for my boyfriend to come. I smirked at Edward's shocked expression. "What?"

"Nothing. Nothing." He shook his head, and while I looked up at the darkening night sky, I saw him adjust himself through his pants and shifted just a little closer to me.

Huh. Interesting…

"So, you ah, you haven't had a boyfriend in six months, hmm?" He looked up at me through his thick lashes.

I nodded, recalling how I'd told him that earlier. "Oh, er… no." Where was he going with this? "It's a little hard to have a relationship when I'm traveling so much."

"I know what you mean. Relationships are hard when you're moving around all the time or when your job's as risky as mine. I've seen my workmates have horrible accidents… That's why I don't do the girlfriend thing. Not until I stop doing active service anyway. But even after I finish my mandatory time, I want to stay on with the guys. It's just safer to have relationships with no strings attached. You know?"

Nodding, I was unable to deny that from what I'd seen, he was excellent at his job, and I believed he should continue doing what he loved if it meant that much to him. But I wasn't sure I agreed with him about his relationship logic. I understood what he meant though, that he only had one night stands or casual sex. But didn't he want love? Didn't he want to come home to someone familiar and loving, to share a deep sense of unconditional acceptance and affection?

I know _I _did.

My heart dropped like a lead sinker, knowing Edward was a one-night stand kind of guy who didn't want a relationship. Even for a few weeks, or few months while I was here.

We had a lot in common, and I admired him. I wanted to get to know him better. He seemed strong in so many ways, and I felt a deep, undeniable connection with him. Remembering the way he'd jumped onboard, risking his life to help _us_ – complete strangers to him – only increased my respect and opinion of him. His quiet, teasing character and his calm confidence helped convince me that he was a decent guy despite his views on relationships.

I was also certain he was putting the moves on me, but he was letting me know _now_, before he did anything, that he only did casual sex.

Could _I_ do that though?

I _was_ certainly attracted to him; both by his looks and his personality. He looked so damn hot in his Coast Guard uniform, that I started having fantasies of fisting my hands into his button up shirt and ripping it open, exposing what I imagined to be a perfectly smooth, chiseled chest and stomach for me to lick and nibble.

I only had him for a night.

A night would have to do.

I wanted him.

Feeling goose bumps rise on my skin from the chilly air, I asked him if he wanted to move back inside for a coffee, apologizing that we only had instant.

"Ah, I don't drink coffee."

"Then it's tea or apple juice. That's all I've got."

"Apple juice is good. Thanks."

"Okay."

We both stood at the same time, and he motioned for me to go down the cabin ladder first. His gentlemanly behaviour making my stomach clench as I became even more attracted to him.

Once in the galley, I turned the music down so it was just soft background noise, and stood, watching with impatient eagerness as Edward closed the little doors that sealed the main exit hatch at the top of the stairs, effectively locking us into the boat for the night. I couldn't deny the tingles I felt at the reality that I was now secluded from the world… completely alone with this incredible man.

When we settled back down at our previous spots in the booth, me with a coffee and him with juice, I sat a little closer to him than before. He looked down at the small gap between us then back up at me and smirked.

I didn't think I fooled him.

"So," he said. "Why'd you move onboard with your father instead of staying with your mom in L.A.?"

"Well… Because after they divorced, my dad was a mess. _She_ was happy though. But, I joined my dad on the boat to keep him company."

And out of trouble.

He shook his head. "Wow."

I laughed. "I know how much my dad appreciates the company. He named the boat _White Swan_ after me, but I think he liked the connection to our name more than the symbolism."

"Symbolism?"

"Yeah." I shrugged, embarrassed to talk about the meaning of the name. "Dad said it stands for grace, love… femininity and… other stuff I can't remember." I chuckled at my lame attempt to be evasive and took another sip of coffee.

"I think it fits you well," he said, cocking his head to the side and narrowing his eyes playfully as he studied me. "Swans are also fair and stunningly beautiful."

I brought my bottom lip between my teeth as my cheeks grew warm. I knew calling me stunning was far fetched, even though I was content with my 'girl-next-door' looks and average figure, I appreciated the sentiment anyway. Hearing him compliment me though, made me take courage at the confirmation that he _was _flirting with me.

I was overcome with fear that I'd never see him again once he stepped foot off my boat tomorrow. He was so incredible – I knew that – I wasn't blind or stupid. But he was only here to do a job, to see me to the next port and that was it. After that, he'd go home, back to his job and his casual relationships and forget all about little ole me.

"Hey…" he whispered, making me look into his burning gaze. He bent his head so he could see into mine better, and the backs of his fingers stroked the length of my jaw. "You _are_ beautiful."

My breath hitched and blood raced through my veins as we stared at each other. I swallowed. His gentle, barely-there touch on my cheeks turned my insides to liquid lava. Right then, I wanted him to kiss me, to lean forward and press his red lips to mine, to lay me back and ravage me. I willed him to do it.

I wanted to enjoy his attentions in _every_ way for one night.

Maybe he'd stay longer and help me sail to Seattle.

Seeing his eyes darken and become heavy lidded with lust, I held his gaze, remembering that the white swan also represented "chance". Emboldened by the sincerity of Edward's words, his touch and the way he looked like he wanted to devour me, I decided to make the next move.

It was now or never.

"Edward…" I breathed, holding his scorching gaze. I peeked my tongue out from between my lips and wet them. His gaze dipped down to watch the movement, and my stomach clenched, seeing he liked it. Keeping my eyes on Edward's face, I drew my bottom lip into my mouth and sucked on it. His vision lowered to observe my chest as it rose and fell from my deep breaths. I pressed my legs together and squirmed, arching my back. I sighed as the movement gave me some relief against the increasing ache that was building between my legs.

Shifting in his seat, he swallowed hard and adjusted himself through his pants again. _Oh yeah, he wants me, too._ Under his intense, blood sizzling gaze, my desire for him became almost unbearable, and I couldn't stand the foot of space between us.

"I bet you were a wild cat in college," he said, dazzling me with a roguish smirk. Once his comment registered, I shook my head.

"College? No, I've… I've just finished my senior year through homeschooling. I haven't been to college yet." Hadn't I told him that?

He frowned, seeming shocked. "But… But… Hang on. How old are you, then?" He sat up straight.

"I'm eighteen."

He blinked and looked me over again, but instead of making me yearn for him, his scrutinizing gaze made me want to turn from him. I mustn't have mentioned that I was eighteen before, but I didn't see any problem for us.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Shit. I thought you were older." His tone was accusatory, and I couldn't understand what I'd done to mislead him. "Old enough to drink..."

"Oh." I'd forgotten about _that_. I heard him mumble, "seven years" and tried not to be offended that he thought me too young. "So what? My dad lets me have a beer now and then. It's no big deal." If he thought I was twenty-one, I only had three years to go until I was legal. Three years was nothing.

We stared at each other for a moment, neither of us speaking. He looked kind of nervous, so I decided to make the next move anyway. I knew he wanted me, so I leaned towards him, expecting him to meet me half way in a searing, passionate kiss. As soon as my hand touched his knee, he flinched and spun in his seat, turning away from me to look through the magazines that we kept in the far corner of the 'U' shaped booth.

What the…?

"Hey. These are interesting," he said over his shoulder. I stared at the back of his head in shock as he picked up the boating magazines, looking at each cover, chuckling nervously. "Oooooh! Have you read all these? I haven't. I barely get time to read now days."

Leaning back to my original position, I felt the crushing weight of rejection clamp down on my chest and tears begin to prickle behind my eyes. He'd turned me down.

Because I was eighteen.

I thought he wanted me.

"Edward. If you think –"

"Oh! I haven't seen this one yet," he said, cutting me off and flipping the magazine open.

Fighting the lump in my throat, I got up and locked myself in my tiny bathroom that was next to the galley. With my head in my hands, I sat on the closed toilet lid, and let the first few tears fall. My embarrassment and hurt turned into annoyance at _him_ because I'd felt vulnerable and teary _enough_ today.

I wanted to feel strong and in control again.

I wanted to feel pleasure, not pain_._

I wanted to feel desired, not rejected.

But most of all, I wanted to be treated like a grown woman, and not a child.

Why'd I tell him my age? I remembered the way he'd looked at me outside and the way his eyes had glimmered with consuming lust just before I opened my big fat mouth and ruined everything. I knew I'd affected him. He was aroused, I could sense it.

So _what_ if he was seven years older than me? I didn't care. I'd wanted him.

I _still_ wanted him.

In a desperate need to feel strong, I sat up straight and told myself that if he didn't want me, then that was his loss. I dried my eyes and resolved to take a hot, relaxing shower and just go to bed – determined not to let his rejection get to me, even though my chest ached from his off-hand dismissal.

After stripping, I put my clothes and jewellery in the waterproof box to keep them dry – because it was an open bathroom, everything got wet when the damn shower was used. When I took off my matching underwear that were blue and covered with little, white doggy paw prints, I sighed in relief that he hadn't seen them. He really _would_ have seen me as a kid then.

Was that why my age bothered him? Because he assumed I was a little girl?

Had he even been listening to me when I'd told him that I'd had sex before?

The thought only angered me further, as I was _not _alittle girl. I could catch more fish than my father, navigate and plot courses across oceans, scuba dive wrecks and freaking swim with sharks. I cooked and cleaned, scrubbed decks and used electric sanders and drills.

I was _not_ a child.

After turning on the water, I tied my hair up to keep it dry, sighing under the hot relaxing spray that pelted my sore, tight shoulder muscles. I brushed my teeth again while I bathed, using the sink to rinse. I kept telling myself that I was a woman, over and over like a mantra.

But to really convince myself, I wanted to _feel_ how much of a woman I was. Closing my eyes, I let my hands slip sensuously over my curves. As I washed myself, I couldn't help imagining my hands were Edward's that were caressing and fondling my breasts, stomach and hips. Not caring if he heard me, but not intending to make any more noise than necessary, I whimpered when my fingers pinched my firm, taut nipples. I rolled them between my fingers and thumbs, gasping when I felt the sensation travel to between my legs.

"Bella?" His voice sounded concerned.

I opened my eyes. "What?"

"Are you crying?" I could tell he was now on the other side of the door. "Damnit. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." He let his hand fall against the thin door and slide down. "I… I just… Shit. Can you finish showering so I can explain?"

Figuring that he'd heard my heavy breathing over the water running and mistaken me for being upset, an idea came to me. I turned off the shower. "Okay."

I pushed the door open and faced him.

Now he'd see I was a woman.

He gasped. "Holy shit…"

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**A/N:**

**Yes? No? Maybe so?**

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	3. Chapter 3: Friction

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, but I claim the intellectual property of _**White Swan.**_

_No copyright infringement intended._

**To my fab pre-readers and betas: Belindella, Colette, Silvia & Lezlee. Thank you all so much!**

**This one varies a fair bit from the original version. Hope you like it!**

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**CHAPTER THREE: FRICTION**

_I pushed the door open towards him. _

_Now he'd see I was a woman._

_He gasped. "Holy shit…" _

His eyes widened, seeing me dripping wet. Naked. My nipples puckered from the cooler air that rushed into the steamy bathroom. I just stared at him, hoping he'd see me as a woman and not a little girl. My breathing turned deep under Edward's blatant ogling of my breasts before his gaze wandered down to the apex of my thighs then back up again. His gaze turned ravenous, like he was a starving man and my body was his buffet.

I felt proud, seeing his breathing become deep and rough. I smirked. He grasped the door, causing the lean muscles in his exposed forearm to bulge under the pressure of his grip. I wanted to reach out and feel his hard muscles under my fingertips.

I wanted to _feel_ all of him.

"Bella…" He closed his eyes, clenching them so he couldn't see me. "We shouldn't..."

Looking him over, I saw he was _just_ as aroused as me from the large bulge in the front of his pants. I couldn't understand why he thought my age such a big deal. He'd wanted to kiss me earlier. I knew he did.

"I think we should," I said, stepping out of the bathroom and standing in front of him, leaving only a few inches between us. "I've never felt so… _aroused _before…" I heard what sounded like a growl rumble in his chest.

Standing this close to him, I could smell the remnants of his spicy aftershave, and the masculine scent of him tickled my belly, making heat emanate between my legs and my desire for him soar.

"Maybe it's because I watched you fearlessly rescue my dad," I continued, my voice quiet and sensual. "Maybe it's from how hot you look in this uniform…" I raised my hands and placed them on his chest, rubbing his pecs. Hearing him groan, I smiled and his eyes opened to stare down at me. I could see the turmoil within his stormy gaze and knew that he was warring within himself. "All I know is… I'm a _woman_, Edward. And I want you. I'm old enough to know what I want, and if you think I want a relationship… I don't expect that."

His eyes flicked between mine, studying me.

"I'm a little chilly," I lied, knowing it was plausible considering I was standing there dripping wet. "Could you…?" I looked at him through my lashes, hoping he'd help warm me up with his body.

He raised his arms to be level with my shoulders, and I smiled, thinking he was going to hug me. But instead, he reached past me and grabbed a rolled up white towel from the corner top shelf. Shaking it out, he wrapped it around my shoulders, and I struggled with the reality that he was rejecting me.

Again.

Disappointed, I held the towel clasped over my chest with one hand, while my cheeks flamed with humiliation, wanting to run away, but unable to move in the hope I could be wrong.

"You deserve better than me, Bella," he said, his voice low and scratchy but serious. "Can't you see that? I can't give you anything more than a quick romp – okay, a _long _romp. But you're a nice girl. You deserve someone who'll stick around or want to follow you wherever you go. All I'm good for is sex and–"

Putting my fingers over his lips, I shook my head to silence him. Elated that he wasn't refusing me only for my age, I felt my boldness return. If his main concern was that I'd be upset over a one night stand… "I know tonight is all we'll have. I'm okay with that. Really."

He swallowed hard and his eyes darkened with desire, making them turn a deeper shade of green. With his resolve shaken, I let go of my towel, letting it expose my breasts as it parted and hung from my shoulders. I slid my hand up his chest to behind his neck, twirling my fingers through the hair at the back of his head and combed them through his silken strands. So soft. His eyelids fluttered for a moment as I scratched my fingers against his scalp, while my other hand reached for his belt buckle.

Like the sun shining through oppressive rain clouds, his vision cleared to reveal nothing but raw lust. "Bella…"

"Kiss me." I pulled him towards me.

His lips were soft yet demanding and they felt incredible moulded to my own. He ripped the towel from my shoulders, and I moaned as his large, warm hands explored my slippery, naked back and sides, pulling me flush against him as he claimed my mouth.

With my breasts pressed against his hard chest, I gripped his clothes, needing him nearer as we kissed each other with a fierce desperation. After months of loneliness—living with my _dad_—Edward was exactly what I needed. He was such a good kisser. I couldn't help whimpering as his tongue moved with mine. I could taste the sweetness from the apple juice he'd been drinking and moaned into his mouth.

I delighted in the feel of his muscular shoulders under my hands and when I ran them down and squeezed his ass, I smiled against his lips when I heard his sharp intake of breath. Claiming my mouth again, he spread his hand over my lower back, and pulled me hard against his erection. Pressing himself into my stomach, Edward released a deep, guttural groan as he sucked my tongue.

"Mmm…"

He moved his lips to my jaw and started placing open mouthed kissed along my neck, sucking the water droplets from my wet skin, down to where my shoulder began.

"Oh, God… That feels so…" I trailed off, unable to find a word to properly describe the feel of his lips on my bare, sensitive skin.

He kissed along my collar bone and down between my breasts, making me melt with each touch of his lips. When his hands roamed my ass, hips and back, I dropped my head backwards and waited to feel his lips on my boobs. He didn't make me wait long. His tongue circled around my hardened nipple, and I drove my fingers into his hair to keep him against me while he sucked and licked, nibbled and flicked my pebbled flesh with his tongue. He was amazing. The overwhelming need I had for him left me speechless.

He switched breasts, beginning the same wondrous torture again. His right hand slid over my ass to the back of my knee where he began to stroke his fingertips against the surprisingly sensitive skin there. It felt so good my knees buckled for a moment from the intense tingling in my girly parts.

God. He played me like a well known instrument.

Panting, I needed him to be as naked as me, so I tugged at his shirt that was tucked into his pants. "You. Naked. Now." I'd never been aroused to such a fever pitch before. My blood was a bubbling volcanic mass, and I was about to erupt if I didn't have him soon.

Edward undid his belt, while I worked on the laces to his massive boots. He toed off his boots and dropped his trousers and boxers to the floor before kicking them off his feet, sending them sliding across to the other side of the cabin.

Wanting to fulfil my fantasy from earlier, I fisted my hands in the heavy material of his shirt and yanked my fists in opposite directions, expecting the buttons to burst off and for his shirt to rip open.

Nothing happened. "Shit! It works in the movies." I attempted it again, but nothing.

He chuckled. "Fuck, I love your eagerness." My fingers worked hard to push the top few buttons through their holes, but I was too impatient to have him naked. I gripped the bottom hem of both his shirts and pulled them over his head. As I dropped his shirts to the cabin floor, he stood there, naked in all his glory, with his chest heaving. He eyed me like I was a forsaken seal, and he was a hungry shark, and I wondered if my own desire looked like his. His erection was at full mast, begging me to taste him. It twitched under my thirsty gaze, and Edward smirked, smug.

He had every right to be proud. He was stunning. If I thought he was gorgeous in his uniform, he was absolutely mouth-watering naked. His body was pure muscle – chiseled, lean, defined and… absolute perfection.

Except for a few scars marring the smoothness of his torso.

Most of them were old and long healed, but they looked like they'd been painful. Raising my hand to his stomach, I touched the soft pads of my fingertips to the thickest scar that ran down his washboard abs. His stomach tensed as he watched me, his hands gripping my waist.

"Like I said…" He trailed off with a sigh. "My job is dangerous."

He was studying me with what I could only describe as sad contemplation before he replaced it with that look of starvation again.

Sensing his soul held just as many scars as his body, I lunged myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and crashing my lips to his. I wanted to ease his pain, to show him that he was worthy of love, that he deserved to be adored. He was beautiful inside and out, and I wanted to show him that. I wanted to show him how much I admired him. Our mouths moved together, and I poured myself into the kiss, hoping to convey every ounce of appreciation, respect and wonder that I felt for him.

He stumbled backwards a few steps from my attack and we both dropped to the hardwood floor, landing on the pile of blankets he'd thrown inside earlier. I knew I'd never look at the floor the same way again.

Panting, I moved and sat in his lap, my legs on either side of his hips. I pressed myself against his hard erection and claimed his sweet mouth again, my hands fisting his silky hair in an effort to hold him to me. I wanted him so badly.

"Ohhhh, fuck." He groaned against my lips, his fingertips digging into my hips as he encouraged me, guiding my movements.

He felt so good, so right. I was overcome with indescribable need. As he sat on the blankets, with me on top of him, he shuffled us backwards a bit so his back could rest against the side of the built in navigation seat.

I moaned when he bent his head and sucked my nipple hard, biting me a little. The slight pain only added to the overwhelming pleasure that was engulfing my body.

"I want you… in me," I panted, unable to wait any longer.

His hand reached to the side and clawed for his discarded trousers that were lying in a tangled heap beside us. Finding the back pocket, he produced his wallet and a moment later, he withdrew a long line of condom foils.

Ripping one off, I rolled it onto him, enjoying the feel of him between my hands. I leaned forward and held onto his shoulders, kissing him again, while I raised myself to take him in. With a large, warm hand on my hip, he guided me while his other hand positioned his dick at my entrance.

Moving my hips, I moaned as he slid through my slippery folds until his head was just inside. He broke the kiss and with our gazes locked, his eyes searched mine for any hint of doubt or regret.

I had none.

We breathed in each other's panting breaths as I took him all the way in.

His eyes closed as a soft "_Fuck…_" fell from his lips, my forehead falling forward onto his. I'd never felt so full, so consumed, so… complete. We were like two halves coming together, and I had never felt as right and whole as I did then.

His hands glided over my thighs, hips and ass with a caressing touch while I began to move above him. Groaning, he lowered his head and began sucking and kissing my neck and shoulder, guiding me with one hand on my hip, the other on my boob, making my breaths quicken as he filled me every time. It was pure heaven.

Our bodies soon glistened with sweat. He looked so beautiful – heavy lidded with desire, sweat beading on his forehead and top lip, his mouth open as he panted. I gasped when he swiftly flipped me onto my back so that I was lying on the blankets. I loved the desire that poured out of his eyes for me, his show of strength and want of control. His muscles flex as he lowered his delicious weight to settle on top of me and in one swift thrust, he filled me again.

"Oh!"

I ran my hands over his shoulders and back, enjoying the feel of his contracting muscles under my touch, while I tried to memorize every curve, every bulge, and every scar.

I couldn't get enough of him.

Cradling my head between his strong hands as he leaned on his elbows, he kissed me, plunging his tongue into my mouth and beginning a deep rhythm with his hips. With our bodies sliding against each other, I raised my legs, wrapping them around his waist. I scratched my blunt nails down his back, wanting him closer, wishing I could climb inside of him. He moved faster and started rotating his hips causing my already building orgasm prickle and swirl with more force.

"Oh, shit… Edward!" On the brink of ecstasy, I gasped when he began pounding into me, leaning back a little so he could slip his hand between us to rub my clit with his thumb. "Oh! Don't… Don't stop. Ah… Ahh… Ahhh….!"

"That's… it… Bella… Tell… me." He punctuated each word by slapping his hips against mine, jolting me backward with every powerful thrust.

"Ung! _Edward_..." Surging waves of pleasure crashed over me, making my whole body taught beneath him, my mouth open in a silent scream of blinding bliss as he continued to plunge himself into me.

"Fuck! Ung! Bella…. So… good." I felt him harden even more and moments later, he found his own release. While he tensed above me, I caressed his slippery back until he finished. Gazing at him with wonder, I was amazed at how he'd made me feel – how he still made me feel.

_Don't get attached._

The loud thought made my chest ache with a dull but persistent pain. I swallowed. It was going to be so hard to say goodbye to Edward. He was wonderful… he was _everything_ I had always wanted in a man.

Even though I didn't know the finer details about him – like if he snored, if he was bullied at school or if he had siblings – I knew how much I liked him.

With a chaste kiss to my lips, he pulled out and rolled to the side, discarding the condom into the trash under the navigation table. Lying on his back, he breathed hard as his chest rose and fell. He looked over at me and gave me a roguish grin, his eyes twinkling with happiness.

"Come here, gorgeous," he said, motioning me over with his hand before letting it flop onto his flat stomach.

I shuffled closer and cuddled up to his side, willing to deceive myself hat he cared more for me than I knew he was able to, just so I could simply bask in his affection. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me tighter against him.

"Mmm."

After the traumatic day I'd had, the long, lonely months at sea and the years of separation from my friends, being held by him made my heart fill with warmth. I felt safe.

But he offered his affection at a price.

I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed when I heard his strong, thumping heartbeat.

He'd wanted me…

He moved his arm, which had been heavy over my waist, to stroke his fingers up and down my side with a feather light touch. It was a good thing I wasn't ticklish.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Mm."

"What happened to make you swear off relationships?"

He stilled his hand and let it rest against me. Biting my lower lip, I listened to his heart beating in his chest for a moment, about to apologize for being nosey.

He took a deep breath, making my head and hand rise along with his chest. "My friend died. That's what happened." His sad, detached tone made my heart ache.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

His fingers began stroking me again, and I relaxed against him, pleased he wasn't pulling away.

"Two years ago," he said. "Peter and I, uh… we were dropped by chopper onto a powerboat that was suspected of being used to transport drugs. We landed on the deck while the other Coasties jumped onboard from the Coast Guard boat. We thought we'd rounded up all the suspects, but we'd missed one. The fucker shot Peter straight through his femoral artery and Peter… he bled out before I could get him back to the chopper."

I lay silent, shocked, not knowing what to say.

"His girlfriend, Charlotte… she never said it, but I knew she blamed me and his job." I squeezed him, feeling the pain in his voice. "She shot herself two weeks later." I sucked in a sharp breath, and he pulled me closer, gripping his hair with his other hand. "I know accidents happen, but I can't shake the guilt of the past, or the future. That's why it's easier for me to stay single. If _I_ died…"

I traced random patterns against his chest with my fingertips, running them through his light dusting of hair. "But nobody knows when. You could live to be a hundred."

"In my lifetime, I've had several close calls and was in two bad accidents were I'd be dead already if they hadn't revived me. If what they say about third time being a charm, then..." He shrugged, mocking his ominous outlook.

"What? I didn't peg you as the superstitious type." I laid quiet for a moment. "So you really believe that you're number's up the next time you have an accident?"

"Maybe."

I sighed. How could he live like that? Always expecting the worst? "That doesn't mean you're going to die next. It also doesn't mean you can't have a relationship. I'm sorry about your friend and his girlfriend. Really. I am. But it seems like such a waste… that you'd… that you'd deny yourself love on the _possibility _of something bad happening. It's a risk we all take, everyday of our lives. It doesn't matter if you risk your neck daily or if you're a pen pusher in an office – when your time is up, it's up."

He didn't say anything, only dragged in a deep breath, so I kept going.

"What's going to change once you stop doing active service? Something could still happen to you. None of us are safe. Not really. That's why you've got to take a chance… live for the moment. You're such a great guy, and… you deserve to be happy. I'm not saying it'll be with me, but I'm just saying you need to take a chance… with someone."

He didn't respond, and not knowing what else to say, we just lay there, stroking the others skin, lulled by the soft sound of water lapping against the hull and the low music still playing. I was replaying our conversation, hoping he'd ask me out, when his silky voice called my name.

"Bella?"

"Mm-hm?" I propped myself up on my elbow and leaned over his chest, gazing down at him. My smile faltered when he scrubbed a hand over his face before running it through his hair. He looked nervous, uptight, and my stomach twisted with apprehension.

"When we get to Port Angeles tomorrow…" he trailed off, closing his eyes and fisting his hand in his hair.

I knew what he was doing. He was trying to tell me that this was still only a one-night thing. I'd known it from the beginning, and I'd still raised my hopes. I felt my chest tighten. I'd been so stupid. He'd said he didn't do relationships. He'd told me this was just casual. I knew…

"It's okay, Edward." I forced a smile and sat up. "I know you said this was just causal. I said it was fine. Remember?" I swallowed around the golf sized lump in my throat and reached for one of the blankets behind me.

"Bella…" He sat upright and grabbed my hand, brushing his fingers down my cheek. I frowned at him, unable to stop a flicker of hope from growing. "You're a great girl, but I just… _can't…_ I'm sorry."

I felt as though he'd just dumped a bucket of iced water on me, but looking into his sad, deep green eyes, I nodded, masking my disappointment that he'd just called me a girl and that he'd dashed all hopes for something more with him. "Don't worry about it."

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

I would have asked him to leave, but I still needed his help to get to Port Angeles. I'd ruined our friendship. How were we going to spend all day tomorrow with each other when all I wanted to do was run from him?

He frowned, watching me hastily wrap myself in a blanket. "You're upset."

"No, I'm not."

He sighed. "This is exactly why I didn't want to. I knew—"

I lifted my chin, concealing my hurt at hearing his regret. "I'm just _tired_. It's been a long day. That's yourcabin there." I pointed to the one next to mine while avoiding his gaze. I didn't want to snuggle with him. Not anymore. Just looking at him twisted the knife in my chest.

I thought I could do this. I thought I could be one of those women that had casual sex. I was wrong. So wrong. He'd tried to stop me—twice—but I'd been too stubborn to listen, too intent on proving to myself that I could get a guy like him.

He stared at my blank face before slowly nodding. "Okay. Goodnight, Bella."

"Night." I climbed into my tiny cabin and pulled the curtain across the little opening. I laid my head on my pillow to the sound of him gathering his clothes from the floor where we'd just made love. I mean… had _sex._

_Meaningless_ sex.

Feeling more alone than ever, my chin quivered and tears flooded my eyes. I hated being a cry-baby. With my heart tearing in two, I brought my knees up to my chest, buried my head beneath my pillow… and wept.

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**A/N:**

**A lot different to how the original o/s ended, but bear with me, it's all for a purpose :)**

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